When Goodbye Means Hello (Pulling Random Thoughts Together)

So this is what I was thinking. There are so many times in our lives when we are forced to say goodbye to things that we are not ready to let go of.

I for one am not ready to say goodbye to baby. I love babies. I love MY babies. With Jake being the fourth and last baby, around the time I took these pictures:

I was constantly thinking: Will this be the last time I hold him as he drinks his bottle and drifts off to sleep? Please let this moment last. Let me not have to get up from this chair anytime soon. Let me not forget how he looks and how he smells. How the warmth of him sleeping in my arms just melts into all the nooks and crannies of my body. Please, please, I'm not ready to say goodbye to all this.

This poem has always touched my heart on this subject and I can never read it through without a catch in my voice and my eyes misting over.

Song for a Fifth Child.

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,

Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,

Hang out the washing, make up the bed,

Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,

Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due

Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew

And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo

But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo

Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?

Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow

But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs;

Dust go to sleep!

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

Then around the same time Drew or Kyle (or probably both) brought me this beautiful bouquet of bright sunny dandelions. A weed to some but to 6 & 4 year old boys they are beautiful, priceless tokens of endless love and sincere thoughtfulness.

And I realized that saying goodbye to baby means saying hello to priceless gifts of endless wonder that the world has to offer. It means that he will grow and change, yes.

The sweet moments will change... but they will not end.

Look! They are all around!

Random Thoughts

Let's play a little game!

Look at the pictures below and try to guess what I was thinking I was going to post about when I took them a year ago.

Good Luck!

PS - Anyone notice that I am on a roll with posting things on the blog?

Snow Much Fun!

Did we get snow this winter or what? Here are some pictures of our "Snowpocalypse". I loved every snowy minute of it. Can we have some more please? Next winter... not now, of course!

Here is Drew back on the morning of Saturday, February 6th standing in front of our slider giving us a bit of perspective. We are due to get 2 more feet of this stuff a few days later. And we did!! Right on Drew's birthday the 9th and on into the 10th.

Jakey isn't so good at giving us perspective as he is licking the window :)

OK this is our neighborhood mailbox that is taller than me. I had shoveled out a path to it from one side. From the other side we all shoveled out our parking spaces and added to the mountain behind the mailbox. The kids took great joy in climbing and sliding on this man made mountain.

Heavens, boys! Be careful!!!

You know of course that this is Drew... aka the "ER Magnet".

The view out our front door to the left.

The view out our front door to the right. This is after some melting had taken place. Tiercy and Emilie, see that spot in the distance between the houses? That's a mountain. It is closer than it looks! So Em if you go ahead with your other blog there is my hiking place :)

I don't know if you can see very well but to the left is the roof of a car. They are sitting level with the roofs of cars. Wild huh?

Thank you winter for "bringin' it" this year!! Now go ahead and make way for spring!

He Stole My Heart

So a lot has happened these past few months. One of my very favorite memories happened on the 28th of February.

It started with a phone call at 5:30 in the morning. Meredith was crying and laughing at the same time. Crying because she was in so much pain and laughing because this may just mean that she would not have to go in for her scheduled c-section two days from then.

I never got ready and out the door so fast. I actually beat her and Dan to the hospital and sat and waited in my car for a bit so as to not look too anxious. Appearances are everything you know.

Meredith was having interesting contractions. They would be regular then they would slow down. Over and over it was like this. She continued to progress throughout the day but it was a very slow process. At the end when she was ready to push they gave her a touch of pitocin to help keep her contractions regular.

I have never been so proud of her in her whole life. She was amazing! Watching a life come into this world is like a runner's high that I never came down from for a few days. Little Zachary Joseph stole our hearts from the first moment and he continues to do so. He weighed in at 7 pounds 12? ounces. His older brother was 9 pounds and had to be born by c-section due to complications and the cord being wrapped around his neck. More than anything Meredith wanted to be able to have a successful v-bac and she did!!

This little guy rounds it out to an even dozen grandchildren for my parents! Look at his little swollen face. He is just a few minutes old in this picture. I can't believe that Meredith even has the strength to smile.

Here Mom and I pose with Meredith and Dan and their new little one. Notice Dan is wearing his Florida Gator wear. He firmly believes that it is never too early to start influencing your kids!

On running

I think I solved my problem!!! I finally went to one fo those specialty shoe stores. You know? The kind where they watch you walk, check out your feet, and tell you what shoes are best geared for you.

Well, after spending like a gazillion dollars I walked out of the store with my new shoes and inserts AND a hopeful heart.

I wore them around the house for a few days to get used to them like the guy told me to do. Then yesterday I went for a 5 mile run... outside... not on my treadmill. Well, ok. I did 3 outside and 2 on the treadmill. I'm trying to ease into the outdoor runs.

Today? NO PAIN!!!!

6 weeks to go till the Frederick 1/2 Marathon!!!

I think I can! I think I can!! I think I can!!!

The best!!

I have learned the best lesson over the past year. Want to hear it? It's kind of a long story but if you got the time I've got the words.

Here it is... I learned to get over myself. I learned that I do not have to be "top dog" around here in order for things to work. I learned that being part of a great team is often times far better than being the best player. I learned to let go and enjoy myself even when I thought it was going to be a big old pain to do... (insert whatever fits for you here).

Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time there was a young lady. Now this young lady wasn't all that young. She was out of college and trying to make it in the world. She had found many things in her life so far. Like she had found that she needed a Savior so she devoted her life to Him and became an active member of her church. She was blessed to be granted a job teaching first graders in an elementary school. Things were looking good everywhere except for one area in her life. She was lonely. She needed a companion. Someone to travel life's path with her. She prayed hard that God would bring along just the right person. She longed to be in love.

One day she went to church a little early to prepare the Sunday School lesson she was supposed to teach for the kids that morning. As she entered the church there was a young man standing in the foyer.

He was the kind of handsome that made her not want to look directly into his eyes because perhaps he would be able to see that she was thinking that he was good looking and after all this was church and she wasn't supposed to be thinking these things, right? So she mumbled, "Hello", and kept on walking.

Much to her dismay he followed her. Shoot! Now she would really have to speak to him. She found out that they had attended the same high school. Small world, huh? And she had known his sisters. They were triplets but she had never known that. The girls had never spoken of him. So she had believed that the girls were twins not triplets.

Our lonely young lady and this new young man started to get to know each other slowly. After several months they started dating and after a year they were engaged. A year after that they were married.

Now here's the thing... and by now you know that I'm talking of Todd and myself, right? (Please tell me that you saw that coming.) When we were married I always saw myself as the superior one or at least the leader in our relationship. I had been in our church for years before Todd happened along. I had a job teaching and supported him as he finished school and worked to get his teaching certificate. I was older. (OK only 1 1/2 years but still!) All these things gave me a bit of a superiority complex. I totally would have denied it but it's true. That's how I was.

Till this year.

Let me back up a little.

Last February there was a day that I broke down. I was at my end. Todd and I were just getting to the end of yet another season of him coaching basketball and I HATED it.

Yes I did.

I hated how tired he was all the time. I hated how late he got home every single day. And most of all I hated how he seemed to give his best to the team and work and all I got was his stinkin' left-overs.

So like I said this was February, the end of the season, and I finally started praying about it. I realized that the Lord was telling me that I was despising a blessing. It was a blessing that Todd had this 2nd job as a coach. This was not something that Todd was "doing to us" but rather it was something that Todd was "doing FOR us". This job was not a nuisance but a blessing. It gave us a wonderful extra income that some people would do anything for AND Todd loved to do it. How many people get to do what they truly love to do? Todd did!! And instead of being supportive I was being his biggest heckler.

I realized that if this was something that was important to Daddy then it needed to be important to his family. I vowed then that the next year the kids and I would be Todd's biggest supporters. We would go to as many games as we possibly could. I wanted to teach the kids what it was that their Daddy actually did and give them a first hand experience of what his games were like.

Then spring came. The principal called Todd in for a meeting and told him that his job was on the line. After the first winning season that this girl's team had in several years Todd had to fight for his job.

I remember praying and crying out to God. "Please, please let him keep it! Give me a chance to get it right. Give me a chance to be the supportive wife I have always wanted to be. Please don't let it end before I get the chance to show the kids the right way for a family to support their Daddy!"

God heard my prayer. Todd got to keep his job as the head coach of the Seneca Valley Girls Varsity Basketball team.

Flash forward to this past fall.

The kids and I went to the first game. Parents came up to us and introduced themselves to us. I prayed that the kids would behave. I fed them lots of treats. We cheered! I tried to figure out what the girl's names were. The girls won!! That was fun. Can't wait for the next game!

Keep flashing forward to a game this past January. I think it was the game against Damascus. All of a sudden I noticed that the crowd was huge. People were starting to notice that the girls team was undefeated. I remember things in flashes. The crowd cheering (there really has never been a crowd before). The kids pestering me for candy. Having to get up to find a private place to change Jake's poopie diaper (thanks Jake!). AND... look at my husband... he's in his element... he takes my breath away. This is a part of his life that I have never seen before. That's my fault, I know it. He really knows what he is doing. Not only that. He is good at what he is doing. Wow! All of a sudden it was like I was watching him being elevated right before my eyes. My perspective changed and I really started looking up to him in a way that I never had before.

The team won. Again.

Still undefeated.

They finished their season as the only undefeated team in the state of Maryland and went on to win the state title. In the state final they were down by 19 points in the 3rd quarter and Todd coached his very talented girls to one of the greatest comebacks ever witnessed. They won 62-60! No one there will ever forget what they saw that night.

I will never forget.

I will never forget that I almost missed it. If I hadn't prayed to God. If I hadn't heard His instructions to me... I could have wasted this year like all the past years. I could have sat at home and hated it.

But instead I got over myself. I learned that it is OK for things to not be all about me. I learned that it is OK to be a part of the team. I learned how enjoyable it is to witness something so great happen to someone you love. To be so proud of them that your heart aches and wants to burst. To stand back and be nobody so that you can bask in the glory of the somebodies and truly be happy for their accomplishments.

I have a lot of "Thank yous" to pass out here:

First of all I want to thank my God. Thank you for waking me up to what you were doing and allowing me to be a part of it. Thank you for having a hand in all of this and not just granting us a winning season but an UNDEFEATED winning season. Thank you for granting Todd and the girls the talent to get them as far as they did. Let them never think for a second that they did this independent of You! Rather let them always know that You graciously had Your hand in this and blessed them huge... just because You are great and because You could!!

Thank you Seneca Valley Girls Basketball team for having the best UNDEFEATED season. Thank you for playing your hearts out at each and every game. Thank you for not giving up and staying in the fight when you were down by 19(!!!) points in the 3rd quarter of the state final game.

Thank you Julianna, Drew, Kyle, and Jake for letting me take you to so many games. You were so good and (most of the time) made it so easy for Mommy to enjoy herself. You stayed up well past your bedtimes many nights and enjoyed cheering, " UN-DE-FEATED, clap, clap... clap, clap, clap!!!" more times than I can count.

Thank you Nintendo for making the DS game boy thus rendering my children "video game zombies". Any chance you will be making an edition for 2 yr. olds in time for next year's season?

Thank you fans and parents of players who had the chance to sit near me and my children during the games. Thank you for telling me how well behaved they were. At times I did not believe you but it sure was nice to hear. Thank you ladies who Jakey flirted with. Thank you for smiling at him and being sweet when I know you really wanted him to stop bothering you so that you could watch the game too!

Thank you makers of lollipops and Skittles for making small bits of candy that could be portioned out slowly and if I was smart and paying attention could last a whole basketball game!

Thank you Ann and Al for coming to as many games as you did. Ann you are such an amazing example of a Mom who never tires of cheering her kids on. May I be as supportive of my boys (and my Julianna) as you are of Todd when they are adults. Al, thank you for letting Jake maul your hat during one of the games. May I buy you a new one?

Mom and Dad thanks for both watching the kids so I could go to a few games alone and also coming to some of the games. Your support means so much to Todd and I. I'm so glad we actually got Mom to enjoy a sports game!!

Mindy, you are a babysitting goddess! 6 boys under the age of 7 all by yourself??? Girl you are my hero!!! Thank you for supporting us with your help. I love you!

Family and friends who came to games, kept your fingers crossed, hearts open, or just plain prayed for the team... THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Your loud cheering gave the girls the boost they needed on more than one occasion. Thank you for letting them know that they were not alone out there on the court.

Jim, thank you for assisting Todd this season. You helped to make a great season "priceless" just by being there for him. When can your family come to dinner?

Charlie, thank you for not yelling at the refs. too badly during the state final. Getting ejected from across the court from me is one thing but sitting next to me you gotta behave. As the coach's wife I have an image to uphold.

Jen and Jeff thank you for letting me call you after each game to rejoice about yet another win. You never once acted like I was bothering you.

Dear Todd,

Thank you for keeping your head during the game and bringing the girls back from a 19 point deficit. No one who was at the game will ever forget that comeback!! Thank you for showing us all that we must never give up. No matter how against us things look, if we persevere, turnarounds can (and WILL) happen! After all if God is for us who can be against us?

Thank you for being a man worthy of respect and a husband that I still want to be married to for the rest of my life. You have given me 11 wonderfully sweet years and you still take my breath away after all this time. I love you more now than I ever thought possible 11 years ago.

Happy Anniversary!

All my love,

Michelle